We Don’t Want No Scrubs

Cat calling…I. HATE. IT. I don’t understand why certain men feel the urge that they should holler at me like it’s a compliment. Oh…I’m sorry sir, I didn’t realize that I was running/walking/standing here to cross the road for your viewing pleasure. Oh that’s right…because I’m NOT here for your viewing pleasure. I’m here because I have places to be and things to do. My body is not something for you to ogle at.

A few months ago, I was running in Nashville… exercising in a T-shirt and shorts. Men at a construction site decided that my daily run was a performance. They hollered at me to keep going…to show off what my mama gave me…and they clapped for “encouragement”. I’m sorry…but my run is not a spectacle. Running or walking on the sidewalk is not a sexual act for enjoyment. It’s my way of getting my business done.  

I could rant and rave about cat calling, but my friend and Garrett colleague Clint shared this video with me of a woman’s response to cat calling. I couldn’t have said it better:

http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/v7vq7r/masters-of-sexism—claps-and-catcalls

“[A woman's] walk to work is not there for him to comment on. It’s not a red carpet, it’s not a fashion week runway — it’s a sidewalk.” -Jessica Williams

Ladies and gentlemen, don’t forget what we learned from TLC…

“I don’t want no scrub

A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me

Hanging out the passenger side

Of his best friend’s ride

Trying to holler at me”

 

So for those that think hollering at me is appreciated…it’s not. Please stop trying. And to all of you men out there already respecting women…THANK YOU. Let’s continue equally using the sidewalks for what they are…SIDEWALKS. 

compliment by respect

Oh Hell No to Slut-Shaming

I like to think of Jennifer Lawrence as my spirit animal. I’m kidding…but I do have mad respect for this woman. She comes off as authentic, charming, and, most importantly, real in interviews. JLaw is not afraid to laugh at herself…(remember how she addressed that first fall at the Oscars?) She doesn’t takes herself seriously on the red carpet (photobombs on photobombs). Plus the woman has mad talent (look at all of her awards!).

Over Labor Day Weekend, I noticed that JLaw made headlines again. This time not for her witty, clever remarks or her achievements…instead Jennifer Lawrence made headlines for nude photos stolen by a hacker

Lawrence didn’t come back with a joke or witty comment, nor did she need to do so! She is a victim of a crime and has every single right to press charges for this invasion of privacy.

While scrolling through my Twitter feed, I noticed that some people were taken aback by Lawrence’s (and the other celebrities) reactions that had images stolen. One reaction had fans “supporting” JLaw by praising her nude body and how she should “own it” because she’s “damn fine”. Another reaction came from people questioning why she had taken this matter so seriously. They demanded to know when her witty press conference would take place addressing the matter while cracking a few jokes in the process. The third reaction sickened me—slut shaming.

Tweet after tweet, comment after comment, Jennifer Lawrence was slut shamed.

  • “Honestly, I don’t get Jennifer Lawrence’s anger. lmao. She just shouldn’t have taken those nudes of herself.”
  • “The only way to prevent your nude photos from being leaked & circulated on the net is not to take them in the 1st place #jenniferlawrence”
  • “It’s an invasion to their privacy yes, but for someone that is a public figure to keep so many pornographic pictures of themselves on their phone it’s silly to say the least. Do they need to see themselves naked all the time? These women dressed in Dior and pretend to be so perfect in the red carpet etc.. and many young girls look up to them and now what are they supposed to think? Be a lady on the street and a slut behind doors? It’s none of my business but they should have known better. Those pictures are not classy at all.”

Instead of focusing on the CRIME and the true enemy here (HELLO…WHERE IS THE HACKER HATE?), we shake our fingers at the victim and tell her it’s her fault for taking the photographs. It’s her fault as a grown adult to make a decision of taking photos for herself or to share privately with whomever she trusts. It’s her fault for acting like a slut. It’s her fault for some hacker to come in and steal her private images.

Instead of standing behind Jennifer Lawrence going after those individuals that committed a crime, people shook their heads at her and said, “Welp…you shouldn’t have been a slut.” 

Please also note that women made the comments from above. Yes…other women. Instead of rallying behind a crime against a woman, we only fuel slut shaming culture. Just because a woman is sexy or she dresses provocatively, she takes a risqué photo to share with someone trusted, or enjoys sex just as much as a man does doesn’t mean she’s a slut…it doesn’t mean she’s a whore…it doesn’t mean she’s asking for it…NO. She is being herself as a woman. She is expressing her sexuality as a woman. What one woman decides to do, wear, or behave does not make them a slut. If this were a man, would we shame him? Most likely we would shrug it off because he’s supposed to be a sexual being…but women on the other hand are not allowed any sexuality unless they want the ‘slut’ label.

Let’s face it—women have sexuality, too. What each individual woman does with her sexuality is her own private business. When Lawrence took these photos, it was HER choice. She was making a decision about HER body. How dare we shame someone for doing something for herself that was never supposed to be seen by the rest of the world? How dare we shame her and label her as a slut for taking a photo which was her way of expressing her sexuality/body in her own terms. 

Now, some artist is going to take said leaked images of Lawrence and other celebrities such as Kate Upton and Scarlett Johansson and put them on display for an art exhibit. The press release claims that this exhibit is supposed to be a commentary on how “We all become ‘users’ [of social media] and in the end, we become ‘used.'” Lawrence’s image will be “life-size” and “on canvas” for visitors to the exhibit to examine her naked body without consent.

This doesn’t settle with me. AT. ALL. Jennifer Lawrence and the other celebrities featured in the exhibit are human beings that were the victim of a crime. Just because this exhibit is trying to comment on privacy in a digital age (which is a VERY complicated issue on itself) doesn’t mean that these PRIVATE photos that were stolen (REMEMBER IT WAS A CRIME NOT A LEAK) now are suddenly “fair game” to ogle at because it’s her fault for taking the photo in the first place.

So while this debate continues (I’m sure these weren’t unfortunately the last people to be victims of hackers), I encourage you to rethink stolen nude photos. Instead of slut-shaming the victim, recognize that these people are VICTIMS…not sluts, not whores, not asking for it. 

***an edit was made to change any use of leak to stolen. Thank you to Sean for pointing me to this article expressing how using the term ‘leaked’ also implies fault on the victim.*** 

oh hell no